Extended Version on Patreon
Story: You have your boyfriend have been living together for a while. At first it was great! However, a lot of his affection towards you began to diminish and you were love-starved. So you got a dog (like anyone would do) and this is getting your boyfriend JEALOUS. In this ASMR, your boyfriend is going to do whatever it takes to win back the attention of his sweetie pie (you).
Script:
‘Hey yo your freakin dog crossing the line again. Yes I caught the little snot sittin’ in my chair again. You told me you’d take care of this thing and look what’s happening! Listen baby be lucky I even let you have a dog. Look I’m just sayin it’s kinda crazy that you pulled this stray off the freaking street and brought it into our house like it was nothing. Listen, have you ever thought about how this thing was feeding itself? Judging by the size of this mutt it was definitely getting plenty of protein. Squirrels, rabbit, mail men it was having the whole buffet out there. And now, you brought a murderer into the house And even worse, it’s sitting in my chair! Can you do something about this like right now? Why not? Your knitting him a sweater? ( why is she knitting him a sweater? She used to knit me sweaters…) You know what fine I see how it is. I’mma take of this myself. *goes to dog*
Yo listen, you and I are gunna have to have a little talk. You gotta understand who’s boss around here. It’s me, with a capital M, mother F-er. Listen, don’t act like you don’t know what your doing bro I can see through non-sense aight? Why you tryna rizz my girl? why you tryna rizz my girl? ugh I can’t believe im having with conversation. That’s it your getting off my chair whether you like it or not. *tries to push dog* hmmpph! Come one budge! Hmmmpphh! Dog growls* wise guy huh? okay two can play at that game. Grrr *dog growl* grrrr! *dog growl*. *girlfriend walks in* Ggrrr—uhhh.. it’s not what it looks like. No I was not having a growling competition with the dog heheh *nervous laughter* that would be like soo dumb lol. Oh great you finished knitting the dog sweater. Go ahead put it on him. *dog runs off the seat* I’m just glad I got my seat again. *sits*. *happy dog noises* Oh yea for sure he looks cute in that sweater. I’m not being sarcastic. Girl voice: I’m being for real! He looks so cute! (I swear to god I am gunna burn that sweater and bury it in the backyard) no babes I’m not beefin with the dog, I’m just saying we gotta have some ground rules for the guy. For example: no sitting in my favorite chair. Uhh fine I promise to be nicer to mr.sprinkles. for you sweetie I’ll try my best. You two are going for a walk? Sure I’ll come with you let me just grab my keys and—what? Your going without me? ohh.. yea that’s cool. You wanted it to just be the two of you.. that’s fine I’ll just uhh.. Oh yeaa I just remembered I’m actually kinda busy anyways you know I got like… that thing to do with the stuff.. yeaa.. so yea sorry I can’t join on your little walk I know it must break you heart to know how unavailable I am. *door slams* oh their already gone. Pff.. whatever.. didn’t wanna hang out with them anyways.
*transition.
*clock ticking* Where is she? She’s been gone for freaking hours? Woah your back home kinda late dontcha think? What were you doing I thought you were just going for a walk around the block? Ice cream? Ohh I see.. naw it’s cool. Its just that you know.. we had a date planned? Remember? we were gunna cuddle on the couch and watch Clannad together? Oh no no no need to apologize didn’t even matter to me anyways.. I’m not being fussy.. listen babes it’s cool but yes I still wanna watch anime together come on.. *sits on couch* cool *tv sounds* come one get comfy with me on the couch.. ahhh isn’t this nice? Cuddling up with you mans chillin.. watching some anime.. without a care in the world.. *barking* oh come on.. *bark bark* what does he want? He wants to sit up on the couch with us? But like.. come one man I thought—you know? You know what? Fine. ( why does she always gotta be on his side.) *dog bark* gets on couch* ughh sheesh watch yourself mutt.. uh I mean mr.sparkles.. oh you wanna sit right between me and my girl.. fine go ahead.. why would I care? It’s not like this couch was made for two people or anything. Yea I don’t mind being squished. *squish sound* Jesus! (I literally don’t even wanna be here anymore I wanna go home. Oh wait I am home. But it doesn’t feel like home when this big AF dog is getting in between me and my girl!) ugh.. im gunna grab something to eat outta the fridge. Hey! What happened to all bologna? You fed it the dog? come on girl that was mine I had dibs! Ugh whatever.. ( what do I do to get her to pay attention to me? I have idea.. okay hopefully I can make this seem convincing without it having to hurt too bad. Oh god please make this work.. 3..2..1.. ) *slam* owowow!owwww! omgomg! Ow that was too hard oww! Babes! Baby help! Aaaaghhhhi I stubbed my freakin toe super bad I need help! Hey? Come here please come here! I think it’s broken! Check if its broken! Agh no it’s broken I can tell oh my god imma faint.. what you do mean im fine? That freakin hurt I need emotional attention! I mean- uh- m-medical attention. Yea. This is not over reacting. Okay so if I broke my toe than it would be worth it then right? What are you talking about? Nothing nothings going on. I’m not acting strange I’m fine and no I didn’t kick the leg of the kitchen table on purpose I swear.. look.. ugh fine okay I’ll come clean..Ugh look.. babes.. your not paying attention to me anymore. Don’t you get it? Ever since you got that freaking mutt its only ever been about him! Ohh mr.sprinkles needs his belly rubbed.. mr.sprinkles needs a new toy.. mr.sprinkles needs to get neutered.. you don’t think I like my belly getting rubbed? You don’t think l want a new toy? You don’t think I wanna get neuoooouhhh—nevermind that last thing but you get freakin point. Please babes im literally on the kitchen floor begging you for attention again. Why are so caught up in the stupid dog anyways? He doesn’t even have color vision for crying out loud. He pays attention to you? Whatya mean pay attention he can’t speak English? Besides I’m a good listener too! Go ahead I’ll prove im good at listening right now. Tell me about your day.. mhm.. yea.. *unwraps candy bar*.. *munch*.. mm what you say something? He’s always happy to see you? Like when you open door and he rushes towards you? Listen babes I would do that too but whenever you come home I’m already sitting on the couch and I don’t get out of my comfortable position so sorry! You like him more because he actually wears the sweaters you make him? Okay well maybe I’d wear the sweater you made me if it wasn’t puke green! Ugh kkaayy I get it.. you have every right to like the dog more than me. I get it I’m a big fat jerk and I know when I’m not wanted. If you excuse me I’m gunna limp my way back to the bedroom so I can feel ignored in peace. Let go of my hand can’t you see I’m tryna get outta you way so you enjoy more time with mr.sprinkles? *tone softens*..I uh.. come on.. don’t apologize.. no look.. don’t say sorry.. no because you didn’t do anything. No.. I was over reacting.. I was..no it’s not the case that we’re both at fault it was really just me who messed up. I feel guilty. I should’ve paid more attention to you. I guess.. me feeling ignored is just karma. Ahah if you insist that we were both the bad guy then I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree lol. Well.. come on.. let’s go upstairs and we can make it up to each other okay? Heheh.. and if your on patreon you can check out the full version of this audio aswell. See ya!