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Story:
Your boyfriend has never really talked about marriage, kids, or any of that traditional type stuff. You two have been living together for quite some time now, and people are starting to ask you about whether you and your boyfriend plan on tying the knot. You bring this up with him and things get wild..
Script:
Listen you tell your mother to mind her own business! Naw im serious moms are always like this with their daughters. They are always talking ‘oh when are you gunna marry that boy make them babies!’ sheesh. Honestly the thing has never really crossed my mind all that much. I really hate that you bringing it up though. No for real this isn’t even something I really wanna be thinking about in my life right now. What do you mean why? Listen babe…. Why do you we need to label on what we go going on I’m mean like.. we’re vibing don’t ya think? And besides we’ve been living together for a while now so what the heck is marriage gunna do for us anyhow? And kids? Come on like.. look I’ve sort of thought about them but like.. couldn’t you just get dog instead? You never seen all those ladies talking about how much they love their fur babies and what not? Be one of those type of people. Just do what millennials and zoomers do and just get a dog or cat or something and have that be your pseudo baby. Seriously why do you even want a wedding anyways? Is it cause you just want people to celebrate you? I swear to god your birthday is probably your favorite birthday isn’t it. Seriously you are just self-centered and that’s why you want a wedding. You’re a narcissist and that’s why you want a little mini version of youself. No babe look I’m telling ya right now I don’t really wanna have kids. Why would I? Listen I know you always talk about how you love babies and you think there super cute but that donesn’t mean you wanna have babies, right? Listen growin up I had a single mother who ended having me unplanned. She had to grow up super fast because was just barely an adult when she had me. She never got to have a life and barely ever had any time for self because she was working 2 jobs. Having an unplanned child made her life so much more difficult and honestly I don’t think a planned one is that much better. She sacrificed so much and it’s ridiculous how she wasn’t to live her life to the fullest. So that’s what I’m gunna do for myself now. I’m gunna live my life to the fullest and seize the day. And nothing else is gunna matter. Seriously why do you want kids? What’s your reason? Just following tradition? Just doing what you think your supposed to? Don’t you think it’s kinda basic just to follow the route that society has laid out for us? Go to school, get a job, have couple kids and fall over and die. Come on, don’t you think we could do better than that? We could be like a new age couple? Seriosly I don’t really think I need to be a dad. Maybe just a fun uncle. A funkle. Yea and past midnight I’ll bcome the drunkle ahah. No? Okay babe I gotta be honest we can’t be parents. Scratch that you can’t be a parent. I’m sorry but I don’t think anyone else is gunna tell you the straight facts that you are not ready to be a parent. Listen you are still such a child yourself. Yea you are. You ate pizza and ice cream with leftover chicken for breakfast this morning and completely forgot that even had it. You still own plushies and you have an affinity for childrens trading cards even though you are too lazy to learn the complicated rules, your clumsy and you are way to shy around new people. Babe when you have a baby, that baby is a new person. Do you have the discipline to be a pregnant lady? Do you have the pain tolerance for child-rearing? Like really? Babe your sweet and you mean well but you can’t have kids when you haven’t even grown up yourself. Sweetie I hope I’m not upsetting you, but your completely delusional if you think this is gunna happen. Seriously just forget about it and get started on dinner. I’m thinking steak and potatoes with a little bit onions on the side. I don’t see why are still upset girl look I’m not interested in having kids. Are for real gunna start crying now like come on. You know what you sorta just want attention don’t you? Well guess what I’m not gunna give it to you. Nah girl piece out imma outta here.
What heck is her problem? Why is she bringing this up all of a sudden? I don’t wanna think about this crap where my keys imma getting outta here. Wait, what the heck? Is this what I think this is? Pregnancy test? Why does she have this? Is she? No… no this aint good.
Babe what the heck is this? Why do you have this pregnancy test? Are you just trying to start arguments with me? if you love arguments so much feel free to click on the screen we got a whole playlist of arguments. Nah for real enjoy yourself. Tell me how long ago you bought this thing and why the heck didn’t you tell me? can you explain yourself?